Dracula

So, I found Dracula at Best Buy the other day for pretty cheap, so I bought it and watched it the other night. It was pretty interesting, I hadn't watched it in awhile. I forgot about how hot Gary Oldman is in it, in a weird, Romanian vampire type of way. I watched it this time thinking about a comment my friend told me, about how some people read Dracula as a way to prevent the women characters from reaching their full potential, imposing upon them the way of life they believe women should live, very sedate and mediocre, with no strong passions either way. This theory made sense, watching the film. All the people hunting Dracula were men, the men from whom he had stolen their women, and the ones who had been made into vampires were all female. I was glad of my purchase.

On another note, I have found a cool new website, www.laredoute.com, that takes clothes from French designers and sells them here in the states. I recognized some of the brands from when I spent a semester over in France. It's actually pretty cheap, too. You should check it out.

A Woman Possessed

I don't know what has gotten into me. I used to hate sports with a passion. But I have been avidly following this NCAA tournament. Today, I found myself turning off music (which I love) in favor of listening to talk radio about the final four teams in college basketball, and I listened to it for at least 20 minutes, until I got home. I even knew the players they were talking about, because I haven't just been watching the Illinois games, I have been watching ALL the tournament games. 20 minutes. On the radio. With me, in my bright pink skirt.

I am Alive!

No, I am not dead. I was on spring break, and now I am back to the grindstone. Although with lots of new stuff. When I think about what I did this last week, I think that all I did was shop. And exercise. And hang out with friends and family. But mostly shop. Which, of course, means a good spring break for me, but I felt so horribly shallow and materialistic when this week was over. I went out with my dad two days this week, and we went to the mall both days, and he bought me an insanely pricey amount of clothes, jewelry, and one designer purse. I figured out that my father spent more on me in these two days then the entire past two years. I had all this birthday money, too, which I spent all of on more clothes and shoes, and I got back my Illinois income tax refund, and so bought an IPOD mini. (blue)

I just felt so petty this week, between the consumption of material goods and going out with my friends. And I felt like God had really answered a lot of my prayers this week, such as getting accepted for an internship with a school system next year, with one that was my first choice, and all the presents he showered on me, and Illinois getting into the final four! (Yes, I was praying during that game with Arizona.) And then Good Friday and Easter came rolling around, and I felt kind of sick of myself. I hope for the rest of this semester, I can focus on what really matters and try to really care about others. I feel like I've been really selfish lately. And really mad at God.

Well, on a good note, Illinois is in the final four, which I am sooooooooooo excited about! The next game will be this Saturday, and it is going to be crazy here in Champaign. I can't wait. But now I need to finish a mid-term I have put off for too long. And write another paper. A bientot, mes amies.

The Knowledge or the Mystery?

So, it's my last week of classes before spring break, and I have been BUSY. Busy working on homework, busy freaking out about my internship next year...Okay, so I shouldn't be worrying about it as much as I have been, I know. Everything seems to work out the way it should when it should how it should, and all the worrying in the world doesn't seem to make a difference, and yet I can't stop myself. On Monday night, I actually could not sleep because I was thinking about an interview I have this Friday for an internship next year, and how I didn't have the three letters of recommendation I need for it, nor the two transcripts. Of course, the next day I got two emails from teachers saying they could write letters of recommendation for me, and I felt much relieved. Now that I can't worry about that anymore, of course I am worrying about whether I will got offered any of the internship positions or not, and what will happen if I can't find a place to intern next year. I don't know what it is about humans that we always want to know the future, and what is going to happen to us. Maybe that is why I like stories so much, I get to see the beginning, middle, and ending; a lesson is learned; the main character is left changed for the better (or the worse, depends). Still, there is a power to stories that no one can deny. Why else did Jesus teach parables? He knew those would stick longer with his disciples. I like endings to things. I like finished business. I like the end of a chapter.

Yet, I can see the beauty as well in the unknown, the mystery of something that makes it so fascinating. Why else do people tell stories about Big Foot or the Lock Ness Monster? Why are we drawn to other people, whose ever changing natures make them a constant discovery? I love how you can know someone for years and years, and yet every time you see them, you learn something new about them. And God, of course, is the biggest mystery of all to us. I think we can study the Bible for our entire lifetime and still only have a glimpse into his true nature. I guess that's why we have to live for an eternity with Him in heaven, because only an eternity can come close to figuring out an eternal being.

ILLINOIS WINS AGAIN!!!!!!!

I am so proud to be at the University of Illinois right now. Illinois won another game in the Big 10 turnament, and so tomorrow they are playing the championship game. It's getting tense down here, but v. exciting.

Well, I haven't posted in a couple of days because I have been up in the suburbs of Chicago having an interview for an internship next year. It went okay, but I think my biggest downfall will be that I don't speak Spanish. I speak French! Does that count for nothing???? The people who were interviewing me seemed a little negative about my French speaking abilities, like, how in the world is that ever going to help you? Well, fine, I have two more interviews for internships, maybe they will be impressed by me! I will keep you updated on what happens.

I went to see "Bride and Prejudice" last night, it was v. cute. Lots of singing and dancing and bright colors. Does that sound ditzy? I like more than that in movies! I swear. I can see deep movies as much as the next person. I'm going to see the Merchant of Venice tonight. See?

Another new thing (I feel like I'm bouncing around with no intros between any of these subjects, but deal with it if you want to read this) is I am finding out more about going and doing Social Work abroad after graduation. Apparently, you can go within 6 months of graduating on a student work visa, and you only have to commit to 6 months, because that's all the work visa will let you work for. Then, if you like what you are doing and where you are living, you can have your company sponsor you, and get a longer work visa. Apparently, the whole UK is experiencing a shortage of social workers, so I could be in Ireland, England, Scotland, or Wales. Isn't that exciting? I have been feeling so America-bound this year, especially with my sister just getting back yesterday from a trip to Italy. And if I only have to commit to 6 months, I almost feel like I have to go now while I have the chance. But I still have another year and a couple months before I have to decide, so that's a good long while. I have time.

I guess that is it in my v. exciting and interesting life at the moment. Let's cheer on Illinois tomorrow, okay?

Drama Drama Drama

So, yesterday I get two urgent phone calls from friends with news. One I talked with yesterday about it, but my other friend merely leaves this message on my phone that she and her fiance have broken off their engagement, have broken up, and that there is no chance whatsoever of getting back together. WHAT???? I tried calling her back yesterday, but she has not answered yet. So, hopefully today I can get a hold of her to make sure she's all right. I feel so bad, she had bought her wedding dress, had reserved the reception hall and the church, and had accomplished many other details. She had even moved to another state, where she knows practically nobody, to be with him. And now they have broken up. I was so excited because she was getting married, and she's such a fabulous person. Like, I just want to see all of my friends (including myself) happily hooked up with their soul mate, and I feel so bad for her that this hasn't worked out. Well, at least she discovered all this before the wedding and not after. I guess things could be worse...

The People You Have Come to Fear the Most

Why is it you always run into people you know in the places you are most embarrassed to see them? A couple of weeks ago, I decided to take advantage of the free counseling offered by the university in order to discuss some of the issues I have been having lately. I made an appointment with a social worker at the mental health center for today, and who do I run into while in the waiting room, but a girl I know from my social work classes. Of course, I shouldn't have been embarrassed because she was obviously there for some counseling as well, but I was anyway. We tactfully did not talk about the reasons why we were both there until my counselor came and called me away. I had never been so grateful to have been called in my life. Why is it you can talk about every little small talk issue in the world with somebody, and yet be embarrassed whenever they get a glimpse into your real life, the life only a handful of your friends actually know about? Why is our culture so afraid to admit when we are struggling with something? Are Americans in actuality a culture of perfectionists? Or is the facade we show to the world merely the one we wish were true, the person we wish we could be deep inside where we struggle with all manner of self-doubt? All I know is that I will never feel as comfortable around her as I had been before.

Hello to all my fans...

Hello everybody. My name is Kate, and this is the beginning of my on-line adventures as will be posted here. I just turned 24 yesterday, March 6, and I am a student at the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign. I am getting my Masters in Social Work. 24 is a funny age. You're not quite as young anymore, so it's not quite as exciting having birthdays. Like, 21 is so much fun to turn because you feel like a legitimate adult, not a fake one like you would pretend to be when you're 18 and can't even drink yet. At 21, you can do pretty much everything there is to do legally except rent a car. Apparently you're not a good enough driver until you reach the magic age of 25. I guess that's one thing I have to look forward to for my next birthday. Every birthday up until this one I have been extremely excited about. Birthdays are a big deal in my family. We always go out to dinner and get presents and have cake and generally make a big deal of the person as if they are visiting royalty. So, of course I have always been excited that one day out of the year, I can behave like a spoiled brat all because it is my birthday. This year, however, I started feeling old. Now, I know deep down in my heart that 24 is hardly old. As one of my good friends assured me, 24 sounds young and hip and independent. You can do anything you want now. But while at dinner on Saturday night, I was ecstatic that this lady at our table thought I was only 16 or 18 years old. I'm not exactly sure why I am feeling this way. Or maybe I know but I just don't want to admit it. Either way, this bears further scrutiny.

On a positive note, the Diesel jeans that I purchased for my birthday present are worth every penny that I spent on them. I am currently wearing them, and I keep running my hands over them, they make me so happy. I get absurdly happy over the clothes in my closet. Sometimes, when I am bored, I will actually go through my closet and try on clothes which I haven't worn for awhile. And I get really happy doing that.

On an even more positive note, I have had a pretty good day today. I was planning a fun day of homework when my friend Taylor called me up, saying that her boyfriend Daniel was coming down to visit for the day and bringing his friend Jeremy with, and she wanted to know if I wanted to go to coffee and dinner with them. She told me that Jeremy was really cute and single, so, like any normal girl, I reluctantly agreed to abandon my homework in favor of hanging out with them. I met up with them at this place called Moonstruck Cafe, it's right on campus and has the best mochas and hot chocolates I have ever tasted. We got some coffee and sat down and played Texas Hold 'Em for 3 hours. I will be eternally grateful to a certain Sarah for teaching me that game. I did pretty good for myself, I was the second to last person to go out, so I almost won. Then, the four of us went to eat dinner at Za's, this fast food Italian place, and we talked some more. Taylor was right, Daniel's friend Jeremy was really cute, but unfortunately he lives in New Jersey, so a little far away from me in Illinois. It was a lot of fun hanging out together, though, and I was glad I got to meet Taylor's boyfriend. He was really nice.

Thus ends my first day on this blog. I could go on even more (writing has never been a problem for me), but I need to get back to my paper I'm supposed to be writing. So, until next time, Au revoir. The literal French translation of that is "to see again", which I particularly like because it is so less final than "good-bye". So, au revoir.